Keep the Faith: Floyd's Real Explainations
Floyd posted a plea on his website asking us, the fans who thought we saw the most amazing cycling comeback ever, to Keep the Faith.
Well Floyd, I'm keeping the faith for you. And not only that, I'm going to offer Floyd's exclusive explanations for the positive tests--soundly based on reliable web research.
Let's just take a quick review of physiology and answer the question of what testosterone does.
"In general, androgens promote protein synthesis and growth of those tissues with androgen receptors. Testosterone effects can be classified as virilizing and anabolic effects, although the distinction is somewhat artificial, as many of the effects can be considered both. Anabolic effects include growth of muscle mass and strength, increased bone density and strength, and stimulation of linear growth and bone maturation. Virilizing effects include maturation of the sex organs, particularly the penis and the formation of the scrotum in fetuses, and after birth (usually at puberty) a deepening of the voice, growth of the beard and axillary hair. Many of these fall into the category of male secondary sex characteristics." Wikipedia
Just based on this description it is obvious to anyone who's seen Floyd that he is the only rider in the pro peleton who displays secondary sex characteristics consistent with high levels of testosterone. Floyd is the only rider sporting the mustache. In fact, the stache is so well developed and strong it frequently spills down onto his chin. So why don't we see more riders sporting the stache? Easy, it takes all the testosterone they have to keep them fit to ride--no excess for intimidating aesthetics.
Additionally, Floyd's cycling bibs are stuffed ful--leaving little to the imagination. The above mentioned hormonal effects are clearly in effect. This guy clearly has a lot of testosterone.
The failure of the test is clearly due to Floyd's physiology. And the French are jealous. The true conspiracy is that the French authorities are actually upset because, although they host the world's greatest cycling race, they haven't been chosen to host a World Beard and Moustache Championship. The French lack the needed testosterone to meet the stringent requirements of a host nation. After years of American domination in their premier sporting event--the US is hosting the 2009 World Beard and Moustache championships--the French can't take it anymore. Floyd is the fallguy.
Well Floyd, I'm keeping the faith for you. And not only that, I'm going to offer Floyd's exclusive explanations for the positive tests--soundly based on reliable web research.
Let's just take a quick review of physiology and answer the question of what testosterone does.
"In general, androgens promote protein synthesis and growth of those tissues with androgen receptors. Testosterone effects can be classified as virilizing and anabolic effects, although the distinction is somewhat artificial, as many of the effects can be considered both. Anabolic effects include growth of muscle mass and strength, increased bone density and strength, and stimulation of linear growth and bone maturation. Virilizing effects include maturation of the sex organs, particularly the penis and the formation of the scrotum in fetuses, and after birth (usually at puberty) a deepening of the voice, growth of the beard and axillary hair. Many of these fall into the category of male secondary sex characteristics." Wikipedia
Just based on this description it is obvious to anyone who's seen Floyd that he is the only rider in the pro peleton who displays secondary sex characteristics consistent with high levels of testosterone. Floyd is the only rider sporting the mustache. In fact, the stache is so well developed and strong it frequently spills down onto his chin. So why don't we see more riders sporting the stache? Easy, it takes all the testosterone they have to keep them fit to ride--no excess for intimidating aesthetics.
Additionally, Floyd's cycling bibs are stuffed ful--leaving little to the imagination. The above mentioned hormonal effects are clearly in effect. This guy clearly has a lot of testosterone.
The failure of the test is clearly due to Floyd's physiology. And the French are jealous. The true conspiracy is that the French authorities are actually upset because, although they host the world's greatest cycling race, they haven't been chosen to host a World Beard and Moustache Championship. The French lack the needed testosterone to meet the stringent requirements of a host nation. After years of American domination in their premier sporting event--the US is hosting the 2009 World Beard and Moustache championships--the French can't take it anymore. Floyd is the fallguy.
posted by Kris at 8:36 AM
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